Authentic LOVE

Last Thursday, after 83 years of life, my Grandpa passed away. Thanks be to God, we were able to come back from Mexico for the funeral. Seeing my Grandma was heartbreaking.  I cannot even begin to imagine what it would be like to lose your husband, let alone a man who you have been married to for 63 years.  As she spoke to my sister the other night, she shared with tears streaming down her face, “I loved him. I really loved him.”

I am 100% certain that they were in fact, the love of each other’s lives. I remember growing up, always seeing them together and thinking “Wow, they really are in love”. My Grandpa would look at my Grandma like a young man looking at his bride on their wedding day.  They would always laugh and smile together. There was a “oneness” between them. You could see that they thought as one, lived as one, loved as one.

Seeing her sadness caused me to reflect on what marital love really is. What does a couple really vow to one another in marriage?  When they married, they vowed “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.”

I know that they had hard times. Having 4 kids aged 4,3,2, and 1 and later the addition of 3 more children, was beautiful and blessed. But I can also imagine sometimes that it was extremely difficult and maybe felt “for worse.” With only Grandpa working and many mouths to feed, I can guarantee that wasn't a time of “richer.” Over the years, both of them spent many times in a state of “sickness”; Grandma with breast cancer, and Grandpa with many heart surgeries, times in ICU, and his stroke. 

To me, my Grandma is a heroine. She is an example of what love really is. Because during what was most likely the most difficult times in their lives, she didn't give up. She continued to sacrifice and love her husband.  You see, for the past few years my Grandpa had been in the nursing home suffering from dementia following a stroke. Every day she went and sat with my Grandpa from breakfast to bed time. They laughed, talked, read the paper, watched TV. She didn't just put him in the nursing home and “move on”. She spent almost every moment of every day at his side. I know some days it was very difficult for her. The beauty of their relationship is that through all of these difficulties, they persevered. They continued to love. They continued to push forward and support one another; even when it seemed impossible. Even up until the last moment as Grandma held his hand and declared one last time, “I love you Bernard” he smiled, and breathed his last;  “until death do us  part”

Their love is a love that inspires me. In a time when the world tells us to take the easy way out, or do what feels right, a time where people believe that commitments and vows are null and void; it is in times like these that we should look to a love like theirs to understand and aspire to what loving another really means. It is a life full of many sacrifices and difficulties to authentically love another; but is most definitely possible and truly one of the most beautiful things a person can do. I love the quote from the movie Frozen, “Love is putting someone else’s needs before yours.”  Let us remember this and pray that we can learn to love in the same authentic way as my awesome grandparents!

-Andrea

We love you Grandpa!